Learning to Rely on God - His Way (Health Testimony)

It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be, trying to put my thoughts into words. I've spent a good bit of time trying to craft the lessons I've learned through some trials I faced over this past semester into a testimony intriguing enough to read. But now I'm throwing those drafts away and I'm just going to be as straightforward and real as I can be - no matter how cliche it is.

This past semester God decided it was time I learned to truly rely on Him in all things - not just in the financial and protection realm. To administer this lesson, a few things I have long taken for granted that are crucial for "normal" (and especially college) life were unexpectedly and (medically) unexplainedly taken from me. Namely, my overall physical strength and health, mental clarity and academic ability, and most of my people skills. I quickly went from daily runs and frequent walks to barely being physically able to walk across campus; and from never submitting an assignment less than 12 hours early and never missing a class, to extreme brain fog and lack of ability to focus on homework or lectures, causing me to push deadlines. The gaps where these "normal" functions had been where seeming filled with anxiety of not knowing what was happening, and fear of losing the GPA I worked so hard for, or my friends, because I suddenly couldn't even process sound or movement in the dining hall - let alone unfamiliar activities or places.

For weeks I tried to hide everything that was happening behind smiles, laughter, and the excuse of stress or poor diet as I was certain that it would only last a little longer and I would be fine, but things only got worse. Before long I could hardly even fake being ok. I found myself running out of straws to grasp at to answer the ever present "what's wrong?" question, with deadlines and finals quickly approaching, and drowning in anxious thoughts that people had dubbed me a total mess and were avoiding me.

It took until one day when it felt like I had hit rock bottom (though it was actually just the floor, because my legs decided standing was overrated) for me to finally realize that I was never going to get any better trying to do so on my own. So, still on the floor lacking the strength to stand, I asked for forgiveness for trying to make it on my own and finally surrendered to what He still had in store for that season.

To this day my flesh still wishes that the learning requirements were satisfied that day and that I was able to jump up and go run two miles, however, that was far from the case, and looking back the rest of me is joyous for it being so. For had I been healed instantly, I would not have had to truly "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) because knowing myself, I would not have been still. And had I not have had to go to my professors explaining why my assignments weren't done on time or have to make special arrangements for exam taking that I would never have considered before because I felt I was too good, I would have lost a valuable and needed lesson on staying humble. I would also not be able to say that there is absolutely nothing aside from God that gave me strength to make it through the rest of the semester, or even a single day (literally); or that because of the grace of my professors, I was able to save my GPA and keep all A's. For I have no doubt that had I continued foolishly thinking I'd be alright on my own, I would have either failed all my classes or had to drop out entirely. So yes, I would say I learned a lot from this season of my life. And though at the time it seemed like the worst thing, I'm now glad for the lessons I have learned from it.

Now I know at lest some of you may wounder if I ever found out what was wrong/if I got better, and the answer to both would be "kind of". I've had a lot of testing done this summer, however, the only thing that has shown up doesn't quite fit all my symptoms. I have however, found some relief in a natural supplement company, called Plexus, and am able to function enough to work full time and do some fun things in my "spare time". None the less, I have still not quite regained my full normal strength or energy and would greatly appreciate your prayers.

Thank you for your time and interest, and as always, feel free to contact me anytime!

Contact:
elli5255@lbc.edu

Welcome to my Blog (Grand Re-Interduction)

As you can probably see from looking, I made this blog in January to post regular updates on, however, this is only my second post. I would like to offer my apologies for not keeping up as I had hoped thus far. None the less, from here on out I hope to be posting at least monthly, though ideally it will be every week or two (I'm also now expecting offers for accountability on keeping up haha).

For the many of you who have never been to my blog before or herd me mention it, this is ware I'll be posting most of my updates, prayer requests, and other relevant things as I journey though college and beyond in preparation for the mission field. In addition to this blog, I now send out physical prayer/update letters twice a year (once after each semester) to anyone who desires to join my growing "prayer support group" and remain updated with a hard copy. I would love to have you journey with me down the road to the missions field, and if you so desire, I invite you to join my mailing list to receive my letters and also to subscribe to this blog to make sure you don't miss anything in between! (This past semester's/current letter will be going out this week, however, no matter when you read this, its never to late to be added to my mailing list)!

I am very open if there is ever a particular thing you would like to see an update posted about (favorite class, missions plans for the coming year, community involvement, what I do with "free time", etc), and invited you to contact me with it if there ever is. Sometimes a given topic or question is just what's needed to get my gears turning! Also, I would like you to feel as involved with me on this journey as possible, rather than just informed, so feel free to email me at any time with questions or to catch up.

Thank you for your time and interest in my journey, I greatly appreciate it! Stay tuned for an update on my freshman year at Lancaster Bible College coming up in the next day or two. I will also be sharing my testimony from a major health battle I fought this past semester soon!

Contact info:
elli5255@lbc.edu

Ready or Not, this Semester's Taking Off

It almost feels strange, to sit at my desk typing on my laptop in my dorm room for the first time in almost a month; to finally see the faces of those who have become close to me throughout the past semester; to know that before I know it I'll be once again knee deep in assignments and papers - but loving every moment of it. Lancaster Bible College, it's good to be back.

Much has happened over break, and as many of you are aware it was a ruff decision deciding to come back, but none the less, here I am. I thank you to those who were praying for me.

Today LBC kicked off the semester with their annual MLK service day, and classes will resume tomorrow, the 17th. Though my credit load is the same as last semester, my courses are much more involved and syllabus shock is setting in, reminding me that learning to better manege time is of high impotence, and that though doing well is necessary, everything does not have to be perfect.

I ask for your continued prayer for guidance and wisdom, and specifically for an interview I have tomorrow for an on campus job. Though adding a job to my already busy schedule is not ideal in my opinion, having it will greatly help and I really hope it will work out.

I greatly look forward to seeing what this semester holds, and thank you for your time and interest in staying in the loop :)